Lockdown Wellness Tips from a Goblin

September 24, 2021 - 6 comments

Up until recently, when much of the world was stuck in a purgatory of lockdown restrictions, us lucky ones in Vietnam were basking in the luxuries of triple digit covid numbers and loose social distancing measures. Now the tables have turned, and not only have we been under a strict lockdown for the past 4 months, but those of us residing in Saigon are even under a military-enforced lockdown.

Many people, understandably, are going stir-crazy under the isolation and falling into depression.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD. I’m a fuckin’ homebody. I fear the outside world more than I fear my own internal dialogue. I literally lived in a dark basement for half my life. I am a veteran of this lifestyle.

Take my hand and I’ll guide through this scary terrain with some of my personal tips for maintaining your physical and mental wellbeing via healthy routines and habits under lockdown.

Take your meds.

If you are on any medication, make sure to take them every day. Take them first thing in the morning so you don’t forget. Unless you already took them when you got up at 4am this morning before going back to bed just to get it out of the way. Shit. Did I take my dose already or not? Aw hell. Okay, just set an alarm for your meds and hope you don’t accidentally double dose on your SSRIs.

Start the day off with a hearty breakfast.

Eggs are a breakfast staple for a reason. Cheap, easy to cook, and loaded with protein to get you energized for the day. We’re all groggy and lazy in the morning–you don’t want to spend ages prepping just to get a filling breakfast in you–that’s why I’ve developed a very streamlined process for cooking my eggs:

1. First, I heat up my skillet. I recommend cast iron since it doubles as both a tool of cookery and weightlifting, to get those saggy arms nice and ripped just from tossing stir-fries.
2. Get the leftover oil from whatever I cooked last night nice and hot (frugal hack).
3. Crack the egg on a flat surface to avoid getting shell pieces in my beautiful sunny-side up. Get shell pieces in there anyway.
4. Use one half of the egg shell as a spoon to remove those other shell fragments (cooking hack).
5. Break the yolk of my beautiful sunny-side up in the process. Hold back tears as I try not to internalize it as a metaphor for my life.
6. Place the egg on some cold leftover rice, because at this point I couldn’t be assed to heat it up anymore. Enjoy!

Stretch your muscles.

Especially under lockdown, you probably sit at your computer a lot, hunched over and sitting with poor posture all day. I do at least 10 minutes of yoga every morning to help with tight muscles and stiff joints. You don’t need to pull off complicated poses or wrap your legs around your head in order to enjoy the benefits of yoga. Sun Salutations are a great and simple way to get your muscles warmed up.

Start by standing straight, arms to the side and palms facing forward. Inhale as you lift your arms up to the sky. As you exhale, lower your arms and fold forward at your hips–Oh god what was that popping sound?

Suck it up and take a COLD shower.

A cold shower in the morning will help wake you up, and not only is it good for developing your mental strength, it has a host of health benefits such as improving your circulation and metabolism. And I’m not just saying this to console myself over the fact that I don’t have a water heater.

Try aromatherapy.

Diffusers are totally worth the investment. Essential oils offer a variety health effects and make your home smell like a dang spa. Lemongrass for example can help with nausea. Just add 5 drops to your diffuser. Add 5 more if the scent seems a little weak. Maybe another 5 drops. Still can’t smell anything? Fuck it just dump 10 more in. Now let the diffuser do its thing and enjoy your naturally-fragranced home. That… might have been too much. Ugh, the smell is making me nauseous. All right, go ahead and open your windows to let some fresh air circulate. Oh, and while you do that, try not to drop the ashtray filled with a week’s worth of cigarette butts out the window. Your neighbours won’t be too happy with you.

Treat yourself to a spa day.

You have all this free time, why not set some of it aside to pamper yourself as a form of self-care? Put on a sheetmask! And exfoliate those icky feet for once. Pumice stones are the way to go, but if you don’t have one, you can use a nail clipper to trim off the callouses left by your ill-fitting Birkenstocks. Oh. That’s um… that’s a lot of blood. I better go and take care of that.

That’s all my tips for today, I hope you found them useful. These are hard, uncertain times, but you are in control. There’s no need to be depressed. Just remember to live, laugh, love (and maybe stock up on bandaids). See you next time!